I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
