At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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