just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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