I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
