saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i think i just lost a toe
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
