i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we're so committed to being not committed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
