It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
