Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
