i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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