so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
