Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
