Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
