just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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