Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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