I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
