You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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