There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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