my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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