okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
