my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
