Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
