like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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