Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
