I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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