Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
