I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
