No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Randomize
