You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
