Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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