Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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