I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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