She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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