She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
