Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
