She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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