yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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