i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
