i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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