Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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