Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
