I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize