are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
