he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
