my sisters under your porch take her home
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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