i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We got so high we made milksteak
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Found the puke drawer
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
