Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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