I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
