it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
