I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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