Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
