There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
