Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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