So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My bed smells like the plague
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
