marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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