Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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