I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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