if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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