Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
