Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize