it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it glows. i had to have it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
