I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
