New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
